Just Whistle
by She's a Star
Summary: 'She REALLY wished he would stop smiling at her like that...she knew what boys like James Potter wanted when they smiled at pretty girls. Lily Evans definitely wasn't one of those girls.'


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Just Whistle

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by She's a Star

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Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to the brilliant J.K. Rowling. To Have and Have Not...isn't mine. Spectacular film. EVERYONE SEE IT. *points at nearest video rental place*

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Author's Note: In this, Lily is in Ravenclaw...I have no clue if it says anything in the books about her being in Gryffindor (which is quite strange, as I've read them all faaaar too many times), so...yup. *nods* Anyway, this is for Twixxa, just because of all the Bogie references. :) Love ya, darling.

~*~

She _really_ wished he would stop smiling at her like that.

It was a Prefects Meeting, for Merlin's sake! They were supposed to be discussing their possible field trip for academically excellent fifth years and up to Diagon Alley to observe assorted business techniques. Everyone else scribbled down notes busily and threw in assorted suggestions.

It really wasn't the time to be smiling like that.

She knew what boys like James Potter wanted when they smiled at _pretty_ girls: romance and an unhealthy amount of snogging. And really, she couldn't think of many girls who wouldn't want romance and an unhealthy amount of snogging with James Potter. He was popular and effortlessly intelligent - the type that never studied but passed with flying colors anyway. He was one of the Chasers on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and his talent was undeniable. After heated Quidditch matches, at least five people claimed that he could make it professionally. 

He was quite attractive, too, with black hair that was always sort of tousled (but charmingly so), gray-blue eyes, and of course...that smile.

That smile was meant to be flashed at gorgeous girls, like Kayla Bones and April Finnigan. Popular girls, girls who knew how to flirt and giggle. Girls who had actually been _kissed_ before. (Though it was hard to find ones that hadn't been, considering they were in their sixth year. _She_ just happened to be a rare species of pathetic.)

Lily Evans _definitely_ wasn't one of those girls. She was studious, cynical, with a love for sarcasm and Humphrey Bogart films. Throw in uncontrollable scarlet curls, a freakishly-tall-and-thin build, and green eyes that could be seen a mile away, and you definitely had the recipe for Girls James Potter Would Never Show The Least Bit Of Interest In Even If You Were The Last Female Known To Existence.

Stir lightly at 350 degrees.

So _why_ the bloody hell was he staring at her like she was Marilyn Monroe??

"The meeting is about to be adjourned," announced Lucius Malfoy, tone cold as his lifeless silver eyes. "Any last business? Hufflepuff?"

Jennifer Finch shook her head.

"Ravenclaw?"

"You know, _Slytherin,_" she spat back. "I'm sure it's _awfully_ tough to take time out of your busy schedule to learn our names, but try it, won't you? Then maybe we won't all think of you as such an unbearable asshole. Yeah, the chances are incredibly slight, but dare to dream."

"Temper, temper, Ravenclaw," Lucius chided, a smirk on his face. "The meeting is adjourned."

Lily rose and swung the strap of her bag over her shoulder before exiting Professor McGonagall's classroom. Malfoy 'accidentally' shoved against her as they squeezed through the door frame, slamming her arm into the side of it. 

"Bastard," Lily muttered darkly, rubbing at her elbow.

Malfoy simply smirked at her before disappearing into the crowded hall.

"You want me to beat him up for you?"

Lily spun around to see James Potter grinning at her. God. She was _not_ in the mood. 

"I'm sure I can handle him," she deadpanned, walking along. 

James kept up with her.

...Great.

"You sure?" he asked, throwing a wink in her direction.

Dear _Lord._

"Listen, buddy, I can handle that asshole. If he ever gets too tough for _you_, just whistle and I'll save the day." 

He _still_ didn't take the hint, and Lily drew the conclusion that despite his excellent marks, he must have been incredibly thick.

"You _do_ know how to whistle, don't you, Steve?" she asked, smirking as she performed her near-flawless Lauren Bacall impression. "You just put your lips together and...blow."

James studied her blankly for a moment, and Lily rolled her eyes. 

"My name's not Steve," he pointed out.

"No shit, Sherlock," she drawled, shoving through a couple of gossiping fifth-years. They glared after her. "Harry's name wasn't Steve either."

"Harry?" repeated James blankly.

"To Have and Have Not," Lily informed him briskly. "You obviously have _no_ knowledge whatsoever of Bogie films."

"...Bogie?" James asked, looking mildly disgusted. "You mean that the Muggles make films about the yellow stuff up your nose?"

Dear God, have mercy on her soul.

"Humphrey Bogart, genius," she snapped.

"Never heard of 'im."

"Obviously."

He _still_ had yet to take the hint and leave her alone. She briefly wondered _just_ how much the sound of her fist slamming into his jaw would satisfy her at the moment before concluding that even Casablanca couldn't compare.

"I like that name," he stated after a while.

"Humphrey?" 

"Harry."

"You're a little slow, aren't you?" Lily commented with a smirk.

"Hey, be nice," James warned. "I'm the one fighting desperately to save this conversation."

"Well, you may as well surrender, darling," Lily drawled. "Because frankly, I'm not enjoying it."

"That makes two of us," he grumbled.

"Well, then why don't you just go find your little popular friends?" Lily snapped. "I'm sure you don't want to be seen chatting it up with the geeky Ravenclaw girl. I-"

"Actually," James cut in, raising his voice so that it drowned out hers, "I've been working up the nerve to ask you to the Yule Ball since September."

He wasn't serious.

There was no way in _hell_ he could be serious.

"That's really hilarious, Potter," she informed him sarcastically. "Let me just jot down 'laugh' on my To-Do List."

"I'm not kidding, Evans," he responded, mimicking her earlier tone. "Let me just ask you properly before you turn me down with flourish."

They fell silent for a moment, and Lily noticed for the first time that the hall had nearly completely emptied as students left for dinner. The sound of her own breathing suddenly seemed freakishly loud - was it just her imagination, or did it bounce off the walls of the vast corridors in a relentless echo?  
"Why are you feigning interest in me, Potter?" Lily finally asked, struggling to keep the biting sarcasm in her tone. "Because if you're plotting some trick, I will eat you alive in revenge. You _don't_ want to be on my bad side."

"I'll take your word for it," he said hastily. "And I'm not _feigning_ interest in you."

"Well, then why are you _interested_ in me?" she scowled.

"Lots of reasons," James replied with an easy grin. "You're funny, you've got a brain, and you never fail to give Malfoy hell."

"Since when is this attractive?" Lily asked with a twisted sort of smile.

"Since when isn't it?" James retorted. "So, will you go with me?"

"Well, I'm gonna have to get to know you first," Lily responded. "You know, see if you're worthy."

"The question is, my dear, are _you_ worthy??" James asked haughtily.

Lily gasped in mock offense. "Just for that, I'm never going anywhere with you!"

"Er...worthy to be subjected to my extreme....unworthiness, that is."

"Nice save."

"Thanks."

"I love it when you call me Steve," James announced in a foolishly deep voice, attempting to sling his arm around her shoulder.

"Not so fast, buddy boy," Lily said, reaching over and removing his arm. Their fingers entwined for a split-second before she pulled her hand away. She hoped the flush she felt on her cheeks didn't show. "Don't be rushing into anything. For all I know, after this stupid ball you'll see me for the true evil flaming bitch from hell that I am and go back to dating the pretty ones."

"I wouldn't be too sure," returned James evenly, his eyes sparkling mischievously. "Just you watch, Evans. In five years or so, we'll be married with kids."

"You wouldn't want to marry me, Potter," Lily assured him. 

"And why not?"

"For starters, I can't cook _or_ clean, so that would be left up to you," she informed him. "And kids hate me. Plus, I would name all of our sons after assorted Bogie characters."

"Sounds great," James said, grinning. "Let's start with Harry."

Lily groaned. "You're impossible."

"Harry James Potter," he continued, staring upward dreamily. 

"I'm sick of you already," Lily declared teasingly. "There's no way I can marry you. I doubt I'll even make it down to the Great Hall."

"Well, then, it must be your unlucky day," James proclaimed. "Because we're gettin' hitched, sweetheart."

"Do you do this to all your dates?" Lily inquired, an amused smile on her face. "Because, in my honest opinion, it's kind of scary to have a guy talking to you about marriage when you've only been on a speaking basis with him for five minutes."

James shook his head. "You're the first, believe it or not." He struck a dramatic pose and continued gallantly, "The second I first saw you, I knew that you were the one for me! My entire being is composed of yearning for you, my dear sweet lady! O, I-"

"Okay, okay," Lily cut in, laughing. "I get it, Romeo. Now stop before I lose my lunch."

"All right, Juliet," he agreed. "Just for you. But mark my words, we _will_ be married."

"Honey, you'll be sick of me by the end of this week," Lily deadpanned.

"I will not-"

"Jamesiekins! Where have you _been_? We've been looking for you all over!"

Lily groaned inwardly as Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew burst out of the Great Hall and approached them. Sirius stopped short as soon as he laid eyes on her.

"Ohhhh," he said knowingly, wriggling his eyebrows. "It's The Dream Girl! Did you ask her? Did you, James? Did you ask her??"

"Shut up, Sirius," James ordered through gritted teeth. He nervously ran a hand through his hair.

"You know," Sirius said matter-of-factly, turning to her, "He talks about you a lot. Too much. It's scary, really. I'd stay away from him if I were you."

"Okay," Lily agreed with a wry smile, eager to get away from the four of them. In her book, spending over a minute with the most popular boys in Hogwarts was equivalent on the torture scale to washing Severus Snape's hair. The overwhelming aura of sheer..._popularness_ that radiated from them was almost nauseating. No doubt they had all given James hell for being interested in _her_. Heck, if she wasn't herself, she'd tease him, too.

"Wait!" James said, sounding almost panicked as he placed his hand on her arm. "Where are you going?"

"Calm down, Potter," she smirked. "I'm just going back to the Ravenclaw dormitory. I don't think there's any danger that you'll never see me again."

"You never know," Sirius said dramatically before wincing as Remus elbowed him in the stomach.

Heh heh.

As she turned to go, she called her final words over her shoulder.

"You know how to find me, Potter...just whistle."

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FIN

...Quite pointless, non?


End file.
